While we understand that there’s plenty of people out there in Vienna excited by the World Cup and are watching every game religiously, we thought somebody should spare a thought for those in the city who are experiencing actual football fever – like, you know, those people who are tired of hearing about it, are frustrated because all their favourite bars have been invaded by football tribes, and would rather talk about the details of various skin conditions rather than hear one more word about football.
Here are a few suggestions on how you can avoid anything football and the World Cup 2018 in Vienna:
1. Go to the Wienerwald, dig a hole, sit in it and put your noise cancelling headphones on
2. When somebody starts talking about the World Cup, steer the conversation to become a heated discussion about Russian politics
3. When somebody starts talking about football, ask them how Austria is doing in the cup with a clueless and innocent expression on your face.
4. Go to all the bars along the Donaukanal, cutting all the television power cords.
5. Look out for similar signs like the one below in cafe windows
6. Go to the Danube river and when you hear a cheer, dip your head under water to drown out the sound
Photo by the talented @glooriafuchs
7. Hire a pedal, or row boat on the Danube, and start pedalling / rowing your way up stream and don’t stop until you find the source of the river
8. When you’re walking along the street and people start cheering, just imagine it’s for you and take a bow
9. Get a tent and go live in the Lobau – if the authorities find you, tell them you’re protesting the Lobau tunnel
10. Throw your phone in the Donaukanal, and take a train ticket to Tirol where a rustic wooden cabin you found on Airbnb – described as being secluded, located in pure nature, no electricity and in the forest – awaits you
11. Spend a day in the basement levels of the Nationalbibliothek where a strict no talking rule is enforced and there’s no phone signal
12. Walk around for a couple of weeks wearing this