Such dizzying luxury can go straight to your head like alcohol on an empty stomach. Since sitting in my plush blue lounge chair, my posture has straightened, I’m throwing the phrase ‘quite so,’ into the conversation, and I’m reading the wine list as if I’m peering through a non-existent pair of spectacles at the end of my nose, while holding one solitary finger to my lips. And when it comes time to order, the words come out in the most softly spoken tone I’ve ever used in my life.
The sparkle of the four bulbous crystal lamps and the mighty (pure) marble pillars make for an arresting beginning of an evening when entering The Bank Restaurant through the main entrance of its home of the Park Hyatt hotel. And once you sit amongst it all and start ripping at the warm bread sticks and smearing them with salted butter, you’ll immediately feel like you’re sitting within a painting of some affluent, aristocratic scene. And don’t be surprised if you miss your mouth when trying to feed yourself as you gawk at the interior for the first 10 minutes.
Oh, and be sure to look up … and down. The historic fresco on the roof – which was rediscovered when the ceiling paint peeled due to a fire in the room above during construction in 2008 – is reflected in the carpet. And the woodwork involved in the clock makes me want to check the time, all the time.
It is the fine, fine details that make up luxury. And The Bank Restaurant is full of them. Set within in a room which was once a bank’s cashiers hall, the amount of money invested in to these details, I guess, far surpasses the amount of money that has flowed through here at this 100 year old bank, turned five star hotel.
“Look at this for luxury, my knife and fork have a little stand to rest on,” I exclaim, all bug-eyed. The same expression is there when my waitress cracks open a ice cube ball to release a sour, sweet green aperitif. Next to us, the chefs are at work in the open show kitchen, with, what we are told, is all produce sourced from small farms from the surrounding regions of Vienna.
The regularly changing à la carte dinner menu is a mix of Viennese classics, inventive creations by the chef de cuisine, alongside various seasonal specialties. We order the starter, the food arrives, and the tastes align in a way that instantly attach culinary street cred’ to this fancy setting – it is not just a pretty face.
The beef tartar is more than just a pile of raw, seasoned meat with a fancy name. This one, with an egg bobbing on top and roasted potato bread underneath, is a creative leap on the starter dish. Meanwhile, the alpine salmon char escabeche, accompanied by horse radish and fennel, reveals new flavours, and this continues to throughout the entire meal. From the lamb cutlets on its bed of beans with the hummus and mustard sauces, to the Tafelspitz (boiled beef) which provokes my Viennese dinner partner to exclaim in disbelief, “It’s the best I’ve ever had.” Even the sides of marinated spinach and the crispy roasted potatoes take us by surprise: “Bbbbbbut it’s just spinach and potatoes – how? Just, HOW!?”
And you actually hear the crack of the crème brulée’s fragile thin caramelized brown sugar topping, as the spoon dives and dives again to combine the sweet, creamy yellow innards with the caremelized plums on the side. And one more spoon dive for the poppyseed ice cream on top.
The notion of luxury which involves D&G sunglasses and gold 3-ply toilet paper (yes, it exists) has never impressed me, and I treat anybody that indulges in expensive things for the sake of it with squinty-eyed suspicion, yet a meal at The Bank Restaurant has nothing to do with that. Everything has been thought through here and crafted with a creative and charming angle, to the point where its worth matches its expensive price tag.
“This is the kind of restaurant people come to propose to their girlfriend or have an anniversary … or simply for dinner if they’re rich,” says my dining companion. I nod my head from behind the wine list, which is more like a novel, full of European characters.
This is the kind of restaurant you visit for special occasions, the ones that warrant fine food and a poised a waitress diligently keeping your water and wine glass full.
Hotel restaurants automatically get the bad reputation at birth like a sleazy guy trying to sell overpriced Roman Colloseum keyrings to tourists underneath the Eiffel tower. However, The Bank Restaurant is playing at a higher level and boasts a stand out kitchen which could shine against any of those in Vienna’s fine dining scene.
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