Vienna, you stink! 13 TripAdvisor reviews that think Vienna sucks

May 11, 2016

Vienna, you stink!
13 TripAdvisor
reviews that think
Vienna sucks

May 11, 2016

Vienna Würstelstand's says

Stephansdom? What a boring church! Vienna’s old historical city centre? What a big, dirty ashtray! Some people are really hard to please, and as Ms Taylor Swift wisely remarks, “haters gonna hate.“

With the tourist season ramping up, we bring you 12 TripAdvisor reviews that think Vienna sucks. Ouch…

 

Vienna, the city

Thank God for Bratislava! Otherwise, there would be literally nothing to do in this part of Europe.

We wish we’d been there when the pen hit this person in the head – what are the chances!?
(We’re really wondering why the Austrian government never responded)

 

Spanish Horse Riding School

Only recommended if you’re a ‘die-hard horse trotter.’

 

Schönbrunn Zoo

What did they expect? It was Fajita & Cocktail Friday the night before. The animals weren’t sick, they were hungover!

 

The State Opera

“At one point, audience members even threw their empty beer cans at the conductor. My eyeglass almost fell into my champagne!”
PS – We apologise for our ‘uneducated’ sense of humour.

 

Schönbrunn Palace

A hole in one!

Putting the subtle racism aside for a moment, we really must have missed the ‘pooping’ part of the tour.

 

Naturhistorisches Museum

God damn all those taxidermic animals in a nature history museum!

 

The restaurants

A fascist restaurant: where there’s no menu, and the waiters dictate what you eat. And if they say you enjoyed it, then don’t dare to argue or you’ll be locked up as a traitor of the taste… we mean, state.
But seriously, this sounds absolutely horrible, nevertheless, we’d like to complain about your spelling, Sir!

 

The hotels

As long as the bed was the only thing you had to strip in the morning, we’d say you got away just fine.
And commit suicide because you had to strip your bed? Really?! There’s a 1st world problem if we ever saw one!

These bashful, prudent foreigners. They just don’t understand us, “nasty Europeans who love to flaunt their bodies to everyone without any self-respect.”

 

Stephansdom

Basically this is the stance of every altar boy, ever. Too far?

Make the Most out of Vienna