With the tourist season ramping up, we bring you 17 TripAdvisor reviews that think Vienna sucks. Ouch…
Vienna, the city
Yeah, we’re sorry about that. We’ve been trying to tone it down for a while, but hiding those big buildings ain’t easy and the buskers just won’t stop singing, no matter how many times we ask them to ‘shut up!’
Thank God for Bratislava! Otherwise, there would be literally nothing to do in this part of Europe.
We wish we’d been there when the pen hit this person in the head – what are the chances!?
(We’re really wondering why the Austrian government never responded)
You pay our wages?! In that case – we want a raise!
‘Vienna the wastelands,’ could be considered for the city’s next marketing campaign slogan.
You hear that Otto Wagner? You’re fancy schmancy buildings are ‘meh.’
Spanish Horse Riding School
Only recommended if you’re a ‘die-hard horse trotter.’
Schönbrunn Zoo
What did they expect? It was Fajita & Cocktail Friday the night before. The animals weren’t sick, they were hungover!
The State Opera
“At one point, audience members even threw their empty beer cans at the conductor. My eyeglass almost fell into my champagne!”
PS: We apologise for our ‘uneducated’ sense of humour.
Schönbrunn Palace
A hole in one!
Putting the subtle racism aside for a moment, we really must have missed the ‘pooping’ part of the tour.
Naturhistorisches Museum
God damn all those taxidermic animals in a nature history museum!
The restaurants
A fascist restaurant: where there’s no menu, and the waiters dictate what you eat. And if they say you enjoyed it, then don’t dare to argue or you’ll be locked up as a traitor of the taste… we mean, state.
But seriously, this sounds absolutely horrible, nevertheless, we’d like to complain about your spelling, Sir!
The hotels
As long as the bed was the only thing you had to strip in the morning, we’d say you got away just fine.
And commit suicide because you had to strip your bed? Really?! There’s a first world problem if we ever saw one!
These bashful, prudent foreigners. They just don’t understand us, “nasty Europeans who love to flaunt their bodies to everyone without any self-respect.”
So what you’re saying is – the hostel stank?
And she might have been giving you the chocolate to plug up your nose to keep the stink out.
Stephansdom
Wait… is the church drowning, or are you? We’re confused.
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